Geek Culture: Pimp My Cubical

 

A few weeks ago, I showed you how you can decorate your home, the Geek Way. This time around, let's take a look at turning your drab little cubical into a Workstation of Awesome.

No really, read it.

Before you get to decorating your area, you should make sure you have yourself a coffee mug that will make all other coffee mugs jealous. It's not just a vessel to hold that ever precious elixir of life that is coffee, it can also be yet another method to convey your disdain for the lesser mortals. Do you constantly get asked to fix other people's computers or get asked stupid questions that would only take a few minutes of looking at the manual to sort out? Tell 'em how you really feel with your mug. Or go for the badassedness of the brass knuckle-handled mug. No one will fuck with you with one of those in your hand.

Nest, choose your theme, or themes. Do you go sci-fi? How about Star Wars or Star Trek? Retro video games? How about comic books? Why not grab a pile of action figures and display them at your desk? I currently have most of the Justice League of America figures sitting above my triple monitor setup. Yeah, that's right. Three monitors. Is it completely ridiculous? Absolutely, but I have three freaking monitors! Alternatively, you could always build a train set, or rollercoaster circling the perimeter of your cubical, or build some epic battle scene with Lego.

Pardon me, but do you have
any Grey Poupon?

You could always add a USB Rocket Launcher and a pile of sandbags to keep those bastards away from your TPS Reports, or just as part of your office warfare armory. Many have even gone so far as to turn their cube into an English study, adding a touch of (cl)ass to their workplace.

A few great places to get some crazy cubical gear is of course ThinkGeek or KlearGear or even your local Home Depot and Toys R' Us.

So get those gears rolling and pimp out your cube. Feel free to send me pics to thehouseofgeek@gmail.com and maybe I'll do a showcase of your cubes! Oh, and don't forget your red Swingline.

Geek Culture: Office Warfare

It's Friday, and you might be wanting to unwind after a rough week in the Cubical Pits. Time for a little Friday Fun: Office Warfare style.

Now the question is, do you go for psychological warfare, or a full-frontal assault? Well, if you're a prankster, and have some time on your hands, you might want to take the slowplay route of the psychological attack. Nothing relieves stress like fucking with people. If you have access to someone's computer, you could have all kinds of fun. OfficeWarfare.net has a few things that you can install, such as programs that hide windows randomly, or ones that turn capslock on, cause random keystrokes, or turn the mouse into a Downs Syndrome kid how just ate a bag of sugar. ThinkGeek.com has an inexpensive hardware version of this that plugs into a USB port - all you need to do is plug this badboy into the back of your coworker's computer, and let hilarity ensue.

Trash Your Neighbour's Cubical!

Low-tech attacks can be great, too. A little bit of Scotch tape over an optical mouse sensor will have your coworker scratching his or her head as to why their mouse won't work. You can also make a few photocopies of a paperclip or some other small object, and put those back into the copier, and watch as your victim searches high and low for where the paperclip is stuck. If you're able to get your neighbour away from his cubical for a while, grab a screwdriver and take out the screws holding his four walls of hell together, and laugh your ass off while his cubical falls apart when he sits down! You might want to warn your other office mates about the impending disaster so they won't be hit by any falling desk plants. Remember, keep it clean and don't hurt anyone!

Alternatively, if contact sports are more to your liking, you could grab a couple of buddies, some Nerf guns, spitballs, and a trident, and start your battle! Think Geek also carries a full line of wartime goodies such as USB powered Laser Guided Missile Launcher, Marshmallow Blaster, or Sonic Grenade. Or, if you want to go for longer range attacks, and have a few bucks laying around, you might be able to get your hands in a USB remote controlled tank (pictured at left), complete with four foam missiles. The trouble is, this badboy, as awesome as it is, isn't sold regularly anymore. Once upon a time, this was sold through Red5, you might be able to track this puppy down from eBay or another site.

If this all seems like too much work, then the Megatech Mega Missile Launcher RC Tank (right) might be the beast for you. The big downside to this comes when your boss catches you red-handed with the controller in your hand. All's fair at love and war? Not when your job's on the line. The hurt could come twice as hard if you were shooting it at him! That is, unless he just pegged you in the head with a flying marshmallow. Then it's fair game. While you're at it, why not throw a rubber chicken grenade? Just don't spill any coffee on yourself.

Poor Rubber Chicken